Archive for May, 2008

Window into my Soul

There’s a pretty little gash on the upper part of my left arm, left by a wayward blind that was on a suicide mission to perpetuate my bodily injuries. (I don’t think I’ve had an entire day in my 26 years without a bruise or cut or something, somewhere on my body.)

My roommate has been in pursuit of new windows for our home for the past couple of months and her cousin/window man finally left word over the weekend that he would be here today to install our new windows!

I was thrilled when I heard the news. Finally! Windows that open! Screens to act like a holy Berlin wall that separates me from bitey, itchy, icky bugs! Cross breezes! The list is endless. We scrambled around this morning, taking down blinds and curtains, moving furniture and hiding unmentionables. My bed broke in the process, so now the left side of my bed is perched on a stack of books.

I judged public relations entries after work (Holla PR pros in Hawai’i! Nice job! Especially the dairy, how ironic that it was the first entry I judged.) and around 9:15 I approached the front steps of our row house with the giddy anticipation of a 18 year old virgin on prom night. Windows that open! Screens! Cross breezes! But there, shining around the panes of glass or whatever they used in windows in those days was the glint of the old metal window casings.

Cousin showed up, deposited the new windows wrapped in cardboard around the house, removed the old screens and called it a day. So now not only do we not have protection from the inquisitive eyes of 300 of our closest neighbors, we don’t have access to cross breezes or screens. I tried to temporarily rehang the blind in the bathroom, but as I pulled the cord to adjust the length, it sprung free from its restraints and landed on me with a clatter.

Cross breezes! Screens! Open Windows! Tomorrow you better be mine! (Or I’m coming after you, Cousin.)

Silly Rabbit (Ears)

In the year and a half that I’ve lived in Philadelphia, I’ve been subsisting on entertainment caught from the skies by a set of rabbit ears that lives above the moving picture box. I’ve saved roughly $900 and I don’t think I’ve missed too much by not having cable. (Although there was that funny moment at work why my coworkers were talking about a commercial they saw on some cable station and I chimed in, “That’s so funny! Wish I could have seen it but I DON’T HAVE CABLE!” Maybe you had to be there.) Internet makes watching cable programming easier, as does Netflix – and with Netflix there’s no waiting for next week or next season to wrap up those pesky cliffhangers.

I’m not usually one to be all down with big government, but this transition to digital TV seems to be very poorly executed. In case you’re living in blissful oblivion, you have until Feb. 17, 2009, to beg, borrow or steal a way to receive a digital signal if you don’t have cable. There’s a coupon for which you can apply to make a converter box affordable, you can buy a new digital-equipped TV or you can get cable.

My roommate hooked up a converter box on our living room TV this afternoon and while the picture is clearer and we get a few new digital channels, we no longer get ABC or MYPHL. NBC and CBS phase in and out of service. We can’t figure out how to get the channels to work. The Web site doesn’t really provide many answers, contrary to its name.

As it stands now, DTV sucks. Hopefully we’ll be able to figure this out by Feb. 17. Or maybe we just need to break down and get cable. I hear it has funny commercials.

News is Good News

1 TXT MSG the screen on my phone proclamed.

Gah. Hate text messages. Get in trouble for getting them on company-paid cell phone. Besides, who is still up at 1 a.m.? I? Am old.

I flip the phone open and hit OK to open the message

From Jamie

It’s a boy

May 18, 12:54 am

Congratulations Jamie and Henry! I can’t wait to meet Hunter!!

A Troop I’d Rather Not Join

I wrote this last night but saved the draft when I remembered it was my sister’s birthday so the timing won’t make sense but I’m too lazy to change it.

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My fingers are shaking with excitement to finally have access to Internet for the first time since Saturday morning! I went to see my mama for Mother’s Day and then headed to Gettysburg for a conference. The following is a collection of random thoughts because I’m too fried for more.

Do do do do… do do do do… chu chu.

Just saw a commercial for the new 90210!

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What’s awesome? Robotic dairy farms.

What’s not so awesome? Touring the Gettysburg battlefield in the rain. Thanks, company-mandated fun time.

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Anyone watching Farmer Wants a Wife?

I’ve been eagerly anticipating the show since I was contacted by the casting agent just after I started my job, a little more than a year ago. In a way, I helped cast it! (She wanted help locating the farmer.) I’ve been meaning to catch it but tonight’s the first opportunity I’ve had.

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“We thought you were a Girl Scout leader,” said the hillbilly in the hotel’s bar. “We thought you were asking about the next troop meeting.”

I had just paid for four Dirty Girl Scout shots. It’s probably the best shot ever. Do people where they came from frequently hold Girl Scout meetings in hotel bars?

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Do you have any random thoughts to share?

Little Suzie




suz at wedding

Originally uploaded by JPom1

You sounded remarkably coherent when I called you a few hours ago to make sure you survived last night with the Captain. Your favorite shot was the Red Headed Slut but I would have cautioned against the cherry Long Island iced tea you chose as a chaser.

You’ve blossomed from my knock-kneed, lazy-eyed, lisping baby sister into a beautiful, intelligent young woman. I’m so proud of you and love you with all my heart. (Although you might kill me if you ever find this post.)

Happy 21st birthday, Little Suzie!

The Doctor is In

Have you ever had to turn off Dr. Phil because the daily topic hit a little too close to home and you just couldn’t handle listening to what he said when someone you love is doing the exact opposite of his advice but won’t listen to anyone?

Big Girls Need to Shave, Too

On any given Sunday, I can stand between two glossy wooden pews, gripping my blue hymnal, and meet eyes with girls my age and younger. They grow ’em tall in my hometown, that’s for sure.

I found a delightful new blog today when Zoot linked to Angie. Her most recent post recalls a recent trip to the grocery store when a man made an awkward comment about her height, which made me think about all the awkward things that people have said to me over the years.

  • A cashier asked me and my youngest sister if we are sure we’re really related.
  • I’ve been working out for more than two years but people who I haven’t seen in a while are still getting used my my new physique. I’ve been asked many times how I lost the weight, and some people have come out and asked me if I had surgery.
  • During a banquet I attended for work, the farmer I was writing a story about asked if I was “you know” (complete with hand wiggle) because I didn’t (and don’t) have a boyfriend.
  • A friend’s boyfriend recommended a specific razor to shave my legs, because I’m a “big girl.”
  • I have naturally rosy cheeks. People don’t understand that and I’ve been told several times to lay off the blusher.

I’m sure there’s more but the part of my brain that allows me to hold on to some self esteem is blocking those memories right now.

What’s the most outrageous thing someone’s said to you?