Oh y’all. I’m totally going to Hell for what I did tonight.
I lied to multiple tweens. And they believed me. But it was for their own good.
If you set up a booth to promote nature’s most nearly perfect food, teenyboppers will think everything on said booth is affiliated with/touched by/beloved/former property of the Jonas Brothers. So when girls started asking questions like, “Did the Jonas Brothers touch this lip gloss?” I had no choice but to reply yes.
And then I might have said yes, I did meet the Jonas Brothers. No, I didn’t get their autographs. But one did kiss me. Which one? Umm… NIck! Yes. Definitely Nick. What? He’s only 15? Uh, it was on the cheek. Seriously. (Girls, I’m sorry. Everything unrelated to my job was a lie. Don’t hate me.)
And the screaming. Oh the screaming. They JBs did meet-and-greets in a little room a couple hundred feet for us. Every time the door opened and the girls caught a glimpse of a moving body inside the room, the building erupted in an ear-splitting squeal.
And then my coworker was trampled in the mob’s quest to see Demi someone walk down the hallway.
Please tell me I never acted like that.
(However, my colleague, once she pieced herself back together, sent me home with 2 pounds of cheese. Party at my house!)