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ANTCM

This week on America’s Next Top Cult Model…

Photo courtesy of RealityTV.com

Does anyone think the contestant from Alaska looks like a refugee from the YFZ Ranch? Or Big Love? This isn’t the best post to illustrate my theory but the glimpse I caught of her tonight totally did.

(Is it horrible of me to say that?)

And! OMFG! Jonas Brothers! Squee!!!

Oh y’all. I’m totally going to Hell for what I did tonight.

I lied to multiple tweens. And they believed me. But it was for their own good.

If you set up a booth to promote nature’s most nearly perfect food, teenyboppers will think everything on said booth is affiliated with/touched by/beloved/former property of the Jonas Brothers. So when girls started asking questions like, “Did the Jonas Brothers touch this lip gloss?” I had no choice but to reply yes.

And then I might have said yes, I did meet the Jonas Brothers. No, I didn’t get their autographs. But one did kiss me. Which one? Umm… NIck! Yes. Definitely Nick. What? He’s only 15? Uh, it was on the cheek. Seriously. (Girls, I’m sorry. Everything unrelated to my job was a lie. Don’t hate me.)

And the screaming. Oh the screaming. They JBs did meet-and-greets in a little room a couple hundred feet for us. Every time the door opened and the girls caught a glimpse of a moving body inside the room, the building erupted in an ear-splitting squeal.

And then my coworker was trampled in the mob’s quest to see Demi someone walk down the hallway.

Please tell me I never acted like that.

(However, my colleague, once she pieced herself back together, sent me home with 2 pounds of cheese. Party at my house!)

He’s kind of a big deal

I hate waiting in lines. It will go down eventually and unless there’s an item or event about to expire, I usually prefer to sit in a comfortable chair until only a few people are in the queue.

When I flew to Portland, Maine, it was like an alternate universe. The parking shuttle waited for me; I looked around suspiciously to make sure I was in the right airline because the check in was vacant; and there were TWO people before me in security. Two!

I found a seat at the gate and lingered even after my zone four companions and I were paged to board. Standing in line, juggling heavy, bulky carry on items is my idea hell.

As I walked the aisle to my seat near the back, I saw a familiar face in my row. I had never had a celebrity encounter before but there, sitting in the seat next to me, was Josh Blue from Last Comic Standing. I tried to play it cool, but playing it cool for me usually means acting really snobby and ignoring the other person. But then he tucked a picture of a baby boy in the corner of his tray table to try to make conversation. Who can resist a baby? Soulless people, that’s who. So I asked if the boy was his son and thus began our two hour conversation. He told me about playing in the Paralympics and being multilingual, I told him about milking cows.

If you see a Josh Blue show and he talks about a girl who talked about milk, let me know. I think I might have earned myself a spot in a comedy routine.

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I started this post a long time ago. Like so many bloggers right now, the beautiful August weather is zapping my creativity. However! I just won the I Spy contest hosted by the lovely Quirky at Quirky and Mr. Talented! That calls for a celebratory (and celebrity) post.

She’s Everywhere

During my recent (is it really recent if it was a month ago?) trip to Portland, Maine, I had not one but two brushes with fame.

The second came as my coworker and I were awaiting our return flight. We ran into a guy from the conference and as we began our conversation, he asked if we wanted to see someone famous.

Sitting directly behind us was Julianne Moore, her daughter and her friends (not her sisters, as I learned when I stuttered out the question as I passed by). I learned that she’s a normal person, who graciously fielded the sideways glances and outright stares. She kept her daughter entertained by crafting paper airplanes which were then taking off faster than the rain-delayed jets.

“You’ll never guess who I saw in the Portland airport,” I asked my friend over breakfast with a friend in Pittsburgh that weekend. “Julianne Moore!”

“Oh really?” Friend said. “Was she heading to Pittsburgh? Because she’s been filming a movie in my office building. On our floor. Everyone’s been freaking out about Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who i think looks like a dirty crackhead.”

More anecdotal stories followed about the filming of Shelter, including the outrage from West Virginia natives over the casting call for inbred, West Virginia mountain children. “Regular-looking children need not apply.

With her flawless skin, fully functioning appendages and petite stature, I’m pretty sure Julianne Moore isn’t playing an inbred mountain person.

Cuts Like a Knife

I know it’s not feasible to constantly watch what you say as you live your life, in the off chance that you might hurt someone or make her uncomfortable. However, I can’t believe Jennifer Aniston didn’t cringe just a little when she heard this.

Angelina Jolie says being pregnant has its perks.

“It’s great for the sex life,” she tells Entertainment Weekly magazine. “It just makes you a lot more creative. So you have fun, and as a woman you’re just so round and full.”

Source: Todayshow.comBrad and Angie